Kilroy
by Roger Callibros
Summary: Would-be famed assassin Kilroy is assigned a job in lieu of a paladin. Can he bluff everyone, including himself, into believing he can do it?


--- Disclaimer: I don't own... the game, D&D, nor do I own Wizards of the Coast. I do, however, own the characters in this story (as far as I know.) ---

Kilroy stood in the middle of the corridor, cape billowing behind him from the strong breeze that he was currently facing. His hands were each poised to whip out his daggers at any moment. He glanced back. Darkness, same as in front.

Reluctantly, he began to walk forward, deeper into the dungeon. He knew that there wasn't something wholly good here. In fact, he sensed something evil. He'd heard the stories about the place, sure, but they couldn't be real. After all, everyone knew the famed Jared had destroyed the Snake Cult undead long ago. Rumor had it he still walked the Earth, to this day, as the very undead he hated most: vampire. But, they were only rumors, after all.

Just then, he heard something behind him. A click. He whipped around, daggers in hand. Focusing, he saw a small creature, blue electricity illuminating the area around it, and coursing up its antennae-like ears, producing small clicks as they reached the end. He sighed, and shook his head.

The lizard hopped toward him. Kilroy watched it, wary of anything that might be dangerous. After plumbing a few dungeons, he knew better than to regard it as nothing. The creature walked up to him. As he looked down, he noticed it carried a jewel, which it seemed to be offering to him.

Kilroy shrugged, and reached out to take the jewel. The lizard did a backflip, and scampered back off the direction it came from just before he could grab the jewel. Kilroy cursed, and ran after it, the electricity making it an easy target.

Suddenly, torches lit up all around him. He looked around, dazed, and eventually got his bearings. Five skeletons stood in a pentagon around him, and a well-armored skeleton sat on a mildly decorated throne, its incessant stare fixed on Kilroy.

"Welcome, Kilroy!" The skeleton said. It rose from its seat, and began walking down a flight of stairs. "I'm sure that you are aware of who we are?"

"Well, y'see, the thing is that, I don't." Kilroy answered. He had a good idea, but he felt like annoying this king skeleton some.

"I, am the Skeleton King Railev. The five surrounding you are some of my most loyal subjects. When I heard that you had decided to venture down to our dungeon, I just _knew_ I had to have you as one of my minions. Now, keep still, this will only hurt once." However, Kilroy had no intentions of keeping still. He whipped his daggers out, and double-sliced through one of the skeleton's necks. The head fell to the floor, shattering on impact.

They were actively attacking him now. He back kicked through one's rib cage, knocking it back some, then slashed at another's face. He leapt up, and kicked one in the skull, sending it crashing into a wall. The last one punched him in the face, stunning him, but only for a moment. He sheathed his daggers, took it's arm in his hands, and flipped the skeletal figure over his back, smashing all the bones against the floor.

Kilroy rose, facing Railev, who snarled, a longsword appearing in his hands. Kilroy had his daggers back out once more, and began fighting as fast as he could. He tried to slice through Railev's spinal column, but Railev riposted with a jab to the leg. Kilroy sidestepped that one just in time.

Railev swung his sword in a horizontal arc. Kilroy leaned back as it nearly grazed his nose. He came back with a stab in the face. Railev screamed in pain, and stumbled back, giving Kilroy the opportunity for another attack. He kicked Railev in the side, then made a stab to his spine. Railev's eyes glowed bright red, and he rushed with his sword, swinging blindly. Kilroy had to back flip several time to dodge all the attacks, but the moment Railev let his guard down for a second, Kilroy was there. He'd tossed away his daggers, and instead grabbed two of his ribs, placed his foot square in the middle of Railev's ribcage, and tore the two apart. Railev screamed as his ribs were disassociated with his body, and Kilroy took advantage of the opportunity, by disarming Railev's weapon. He then laid down his wrath with a series of well-placed kicks and punches, finally forcing the undead king against a wall. Kilroy leapt, and kicked straight through Railev's head, to the wall, destroying the King. He landed on his hands and feet, and rose.

After grabbing his daggers, and as much of the treasure that he found lying around the room as he could, he backtracked out of the dungeon, finally seeing the light of day once more. Now it was off to the Dragon's Head Tavern to spend his hard-earned winnings.

A/N: Alright, so, that's the prologue. No real story, I know, because I don't want to get anyone wrapped up in something that I'm not going to complete. You see, it's up to you now. I'll write the story if you think I'm any good at this. So, please, review, and tell me if you think I'm good at this kind of fanfic. Thank you.


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